I can officially say that I am DONE Christmas shopping...kind of. I have a couple of little items to pick up. But I'll tell you something...THIS YEAR WAS DIFFICULT. I had LITERALLY two mental breakdowns in different stores this year.
The first breakdown came when I was buying a certain Christmas gift for my husband. The gift has SOMETHING to do with his orders to MOVE that he just received. I am mentally prepared as much as I can be for his eventual departure on February 1, but as I was looking at his gift on the shelf I just lost it. I started crying and crying...He really is leaving. And as I sat there trying to get my Christmas "perfect" for him and US, I just felt so helpless. I can't do anything. He can't do anything. We just have to SUCK IT UP. So, that's what I did. I stopped crying, paid for the gift, and went back to work.
The second breakdown came when I was finishing up Christmas shopping for the girls. FULL DISCLOSURE: I'm still not done. But I was walking the aisles looking for toys for Lucy, and then it hit me: this is probably the LAST year Lucy will be excited to get toys for Christmas. My BABY is too old for toys. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??!?
Yes. I know. TIME MARCHES ON. But this year I feel like time is marching ON ME.
I'll get through it...blogging about it really helps actually. It's just hard looking BACK and being sad, AND looking FORWARD and being sad. So, I'll just stay in THIS MOMENT, and continue living every day like it IS my last. Because right NOW is the time that I cherish the most...because TIME is marching on...I mean LOOK at theses faces....
....not a care in the world. Just happy. But REALLY look at this picture. It's from 10 years ago. I know it's hard to notice ANYTHING but my weird hair, but take a look at what's behind me. A HEART-SHAPED FLAG!!! How prophetic is that??? Truly amazing.
Merry Christmas, Baykahs. I wish you a holiday full LOVE and TOGETHERNESS.
See you next Tuesday.
KG
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